2019 to 2020; It’s More than a Goal
As I sit and reflect on another year starting, I looked at the beginning of 2019 and what sparked my plans/ goals for that upcoming year.
We had a group of friends over, and five minutes before the ball dropped Adam (friend of my husband and I’s) had challenged us to come up with one tangible goal… One that we wanted to accomplish for our self, one that we wanted to better and dare ourselves with. I had already been thinking of launching my own website, honestly for a couple of months at that point. So, I thought “what the heck, I might as well say that’s my goal. It’s going on a whiteboard so it can be erased at any point. “
So, it was written. So, let it be done -Ramses II
But truly I did accomplish my goal of launching jenellecriswell.com. I took months researching and writing. I had to be honest with myself on if this was something that I wanted to do and if it was something that I would continue to do. So, I did it!
Thank you, Adam, for pushing me to write it down.
When I was thinking of a goal for 2020, nothing tangle had come to mind. To be honest I was a bit mad about it. I am such a goal-oriented person. I want to see my accomplishments; I want to be able to point back to what I have done and said: “look at me!” But instead, I felt God telling me, “Your word is year is intentionality”.
UM, what?
No Thank you!
God, I am not the “word a year girl” I am the goal girl! I want to do things, accomplish things, fix things, make things happen. But as time went by the word intentionality really stuck with me. it would show up in everything I would do, every conversation and situation. So, I knew God was working.
Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
That this point I had, had multiple conversations with Phil about what the next year looked like. Did I still want to coach, did I still want to be in ministry (this was a definite yes!). He wanted me to take a HARD look at all I was doing and make sure I wasn’t just saying yes to accomplish something. He wanted me to be honest with myself and enjoying what I was doing but also achieving all that I could in every aspect of my life.
I had also started to notice that some of my “successes” were causing me to be failing at my most important task.
- I was so drained from work or cheerleading that I would sit on the couch and pull up Instagram. I would get lost in a whole different world, ignoring my husband. I would put my effort into something great and honorable but at the expense of my husband…. I needed to focus on our marriage, our relationship, not just for me but for both of us.
- I would spend my time watching a mindless show or scrolling through Facebook on my day off. Don’t get me wrong this is okay sometimes, but it was an all the time thing for me. I had drained myself all week that I would end up doing nothing…. I had hobbies (painting, drawing, calligraphy) that I could/ should have been working on.
- I had grown in friendship with a group of amazing women. But to be honest I didn’t have time to hang out with them. I made it a point to show up at each bible study we had but beyond that… I hung out with them maybe five times the whole year. I was filling my time with tasks or to be honest, relationships that were not life giving to me. They may have been positive for the other person but draining for me.
- I had spent my time helping others in work, that I didn’t often give myself enough time for my own ministry. I got so caught up in running this or that, that the 4/5 wasn’t the best it could have been in 2019. Now don’t get me wrong it was good, but it could have been better.
2020 INTENTIONALITY
After reflecting and looking back it really was evident that this was a challenge. This was what I need to accomplish, what I need to “succeed in”.
Being 4 days in, has honestly been hard. A resolution shouldn’t an easy accomplishment; it should be challenging to you. It is something that you need to learn, you need to research, or need to be constantly thinking about.
Resolution is something that should be affecting change in you just for that year but forever. Something that is changing you be a better version of yourself, something that God is calling you to be, GREATER.
I had to come to terms with that. So, I guess for 2020 I’ll be a word girl. I will be working on intentionality in EVERYTHING that I am doing; my marriage, my hobbies, my friendship, my work, and more. I probably won’t get to see the end result in some of my tasks but some I may. I want to make this year more about everything rather than just one thing.
So, what is your 2020 resolution? It is more tangle? Is it more succeed based or is it truly about who you are? What God is calling you to be and how are you going to make that happen?
Tell me below… Let’s work through them in 2020 together!
Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
